Managing the Emotions of Others: An Examination of Our Intentions
In a groundbreaking study published in Emotion (2023), researchers from Washington University delve into the complex world of emotion regulation in interpersonal relationships. The study, titled 'Adult attachment and interpersonal emotion regulation motives in daily life,' authored by Christina R. Victor, sheds light on the various motives that drive individuals to manage others' emotions and the implications these motives have on relationships.
The research reveals that the motives for managing others' emotions can shift depending on the situation. For instance, some people may seek comfort and approval in others (attachment anxiety), while others may aim to create distance or manage impressions.
Interestingly, the study found that day to day, when anyone - regardless of attachment style - acted with motives like cheering others up or maintaining the relationship, they walked away feeling better and more connected. On the other hand, motives like creating distance tend to backfire.
The study also captures emotion regulation in everyday contexts, such as cheering up a roommate, calming a sibling, or smoothing over tension with a romantic partner. The findings underscore the value of exploring clients' interpersonal emotion regulation habits for clinicians.
For students high in attachment anxiety, regulating others' emotions for self-comfort or to manage impressions is more common. Helping anxiously attached individuals shift from impression management to genuine care may ease their relational strain. Similarly, for avoidant clients, building comfort with closeness could allow them to reap more of the benefits of supportive interaction.
The study employed a method called experience sampling to track emotions in real time. It found that people manage others' emotions for various reasons: prohedonic motives (trying to boost positive feelings), impression management, relationship motives, and emotional similarity (trying to get on the same emotional wavelength as another person).
However, students higher in attachment avoidance reported fewer benefits from interactions aimed at managing others' emotions. Even when they did step in, they were less likely to feel emotionally uplifted or closer afterward.
The findings of this study suggest that choosing to focus on connection and care, even in small daily moments, can boost both your mood and your relationships. It serves as a reminder that understanding and managing our motives for regulating others' emotions can significantly impact our interpersonal relationships.
You can read more about the study here.
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