The detrimental effects of bribes in the long term perspective

The detrimental effects of bribes in the long term perspective

In the world of child rearing, the use of bribes has been a common tactic for parents aiming to shape their children's behaviour. However, recent research suggests that relying on bribes may have detrimental effects on both long-term child development and parent-child relationships.

While bribes may achieve short-term compliance from the child, they do not foster internal motivation or understanding for appropriate behaviour. Instead, children learn to expect rewards for actions they should be doing because they are responsible, leading to an externalized motivation rather than developing self-discipline or ethical reasoning.

Long-term developmental impacts include lowered self-esteem and reduced feelings of capability because compliance through bribes chips away at a child's sense of independence and confidence. Children may also associate doing the right thing with external rewards or fear, rather than internal values or respect, potentially eroding their mental health and well-being. Furthermore, children may become dependent on bribes or rewards to maintain cooperation, which is not sustainable as they grow older.

Effects on the parent-child relationship are equally concerning. Bribes create a dynamic based on persuasion rather than connection or trust, undermining the parent-child bond. The child may begin to fear or resent the parent if bribes are linked with threats or coercion, which damages trust and open communication. Relationships oriented around bribes can lead to ongoing conflicts and power struggles as the child learns to negotiate behaviour for tangible gains rather than mutual respect.

A better approach emphasizes setting secure boundaries while deepening connection to encourage cooperation from trust, not fear or material incentives. Using natural consequences instead of bribes helps children understand the effect of their behaviour and develop internal motivation. Focusing on positive reinforcement that celebrates desired behaviour without linking it conditionally to rewards offered in advance is also key.

In summary, relying on bribes in parenting tends to undermine a child's internal motivation and self-esteem, damages the parent-child relationship by creating disconnection and mistrust, and is linked with less effective long-term behaviour change compared to strategies that foster intrinsic motivation and trust-based cooperation.

References: [1] Gradual fading of rewards and establishing clear expectations can help encourage intrinsic motivation in children. [2] Using bribes can stop kids from becoming emotionally strong, making it hard for them to handle disappointment and life's ups and downs with emotional intelligence. [3] Using bribes can make kids only do things for rewards, not because they want to. [4] To build strong, trusting bonds with children, parents should focus on emotional connections, play, and creative activities, rather than relying on bribes or threats. [5] Positive reinforcement techniques, such as giving encouragement and recognizing efforts, are effective strategies for encouraging children without bribes. [6] Relying on bribes can disrupt a child's self-regulation and food preferences, potentially reinforcing unhealthy habits. [7] Research warns against using bribes too much in parenting, as it can harm family relationships and teach children to play the system for rewards. [8] Bribing kids can teach them to manipulate and negotiate as young as two. [9] Understanding the impact of cultural influences on the use of bribes can help parents find better, ethical ways to raise children. [10] In cultures that value openness and public duty, bribes are frowned upon, while in others, giving personal favors and using connections to bypass rules is seen as acceptable. [11] Offering rewards can make kids see actions as means to an end, not as ends in themselves, potentially killing their natural curiosity and love for learning. [12] Using food as a reward can make kids dislike the food and want more sweets, and can also make them eat too much and not listen to their hunger signals. [13] Studies link cultural traits like religion and trust to the level of corruption seen in different places. [14] By setting clear rules and keeping communication steady, parents can build a caring space for children to learn self-control, emotional strength, and a strong bond with their parents.

1. Instead of relying on bribes, promoting internal motivation through clear expectations and natural consequences could foster self-discipline and ethical reasoning in children, leading to healthier and stronger parent-child relationships.
2. Science suggests that using bribes excessively can harm family relationships and teach children to manipulate and negotiate, rather than encouraging intrinsic motivation, emotional intelligence, and good food preferences.
3. In the context of child development, setting secure boundaries and focusing on positive reinforcement can help build strong, trusting bonds with children, while a parenting approach centered on emotion connection, play, and creative activities can foster self-regulation, emotional strength, and mutual respect.
4. Drawing from scientific research, a consistent strategy that emphasizes understanding, respect, and open communication is shown to be more effective in promoting mental health and well-being for both parents and children.
5. Conversely, using food as a reward or relying too heavily on bribes can negatively impact a child's relationship with food, potentially reinforcing unhealthy habits, disrupting self-regulation, and making them develop an aversion to the food used as a reward.

Read also: